By, Fab Marsani
” If you give me free ticket and pay all expenses… I wouldn’t go there,” says Mirko. I mentioned to Mirko how the Weekend Australian featured a luxury travel lift out supplement, titled: “Albania Mania”.
He thought I was talking my ‘usual bullshit’ to stir him up. There’s very little to unite the various nationalities across the Balkans, from Slovenia to Greece. However, one common denominator appears to be a distrust and animosity towards Albanians.
Mirko continued, “Why would anyone want to go there? This country is one black hole full of criminals.”
I tried to explain to Mirko how Albania is now pitching itself to a well healed, well-travelled audience who’ve done all the ‘ Global Hot Spots ‘ and wanted the bragging rights of going to places ‘on the edge’.
There’s a deep curiosity about the place. I related to Mirko how ex-pat Michelin Star chefs were returning home and setting up boutique hotels and restaurants along the Albanian Riviera. The country is now on the radar of a discerning road-less travelled set.
Mirko said, “There should be a radar warning signal to stay away from this country. I wouldn’t trust an Albanian with an old pair of shoes.”
I visit my local pool most evenings, where I feel like a UN envoy, brokering a cease fire bringing together warring factions: introducing Eritreans to the Ethiopians, Assyrian Christians to Egyptian Muslims.
I enjoy building bridges, even though Afghan Hazaras are reluctant to engage with Pashtuns.
Building Bridges
But my bridge building has failed dismally with the Balkan block.
The deep-seated prejudices and century old animosities are impervious. This is especially so with that old bigot, Mirko. ” Why are you talking to this Macedonian? ” He asks me.
His prejudices are set in stone.
Mirko tells me ” Slovenians are tight and stingy. One subcontractor give me his invoice with a list of every nail and screw he used on the job. Come on. I not-need to know all this. Just tell me how much I must pay you.”
But he has a soft spot for Bosnians. He thinks of them as the Irish of the Balkans. Mirko: ” these are good workers, but when they drink they never stop, party always come before job.”
When I told him I had several Macedonian friends growing up.
He said, ” If you are lucky, you might find one good one in 10,000,” he says.
When I mentioned Macedonia’s ancient history and the enormous statue of Alexander the Great in the Macedonian capital, Skopje.
Centrelink – Australia’s Welfare System
Mirko fired up,” They should build a statue of Whitlam instead. If not for Centrelink, Macedonia would be bankrupt. They manufacture nothing, they have no tourism, no one wants to go there, because is nothing to see there. The only money coming into the country is from disability pensions from Australia. Expat welfare payment is the Number One business in Macedonia.”
“Listen,” he continued, “if the average Macedonian can go on this Mastermind show, his specialist subject is ‘Welfare Payments’.” There was no stopping Mirko now, he continues “they can tell you which disabilities give best pension; which type of pension stops payments after 6 weeks, if you are out of country or which one is permanent payment, even if you live overseas? They know which pension allows wife or husband to get carer’s allowance even when you live in Macedonia.”
By this stage, he was following me out of the facility and still going. “I’m telling you, these people know everything about benefits, but completely ignorant about anything else.”
